Bazzats Battle Brew

Also encountered as Bazzats Best Bezzle, Bazzats Bilious Beer, Bazzats Berserk Barrel, and Bazzats Bitter Bevvy

POT 2d12 (per barrel)

History: Bazzat was an infamous orcish brew master. It is reasonable common knowledge that orcish beer can make guzzlers do some strange things. Most orcish beer differs greatly from barrel to barrel, depending what ingredients were available to the brewer at the time of brewing. Bazzat was an orc of exceptional intelligence. While experimenting on new brews, he stumbled across a recipe, which contained certain herbs known to have magical properties, which was to become his masterpiece. A beer that would make the drinker invincible. He committed this recipe to memory.

Unfortunately, orcish brewing techniques being what they are, the recipe was not always duplicated exactly, resulting in some interesting side effects. The net results was that Bazzat was beaten to death by an enraged chieftain, after his army of veterans was forced to join battle sick from one of Bazzats kegs and were subsequently slaughtered. The recipe supposedly dies with him although his apprentices often tired to duplicate it. Kegs of Bazzats original brews are still to be found and drunk, if one dares.

Description: Imbibers of Bazzats Battle Brew must resist their CON vs. the brews POT, per mug quaffed. (The brew being active). A successful resist will allow the drinker to roll on the success table below. A critical success (01) will result in the imbiber going berserk. (The original brew resulted in an immediate berserk rage, but the process was never duplicated). A failure to resist will allow imbiber to roll on the failure table below. A critical fumble (00) will result in the imbiber dropping dead on the spot. (Subject to standard divine intervention rules, nyar nyar snigger.)

Note: Imbibers should resist once for every mug quaffed and roll on one of the below tables for every mug, bar for critical successes or fumbles. The brew takes up to an hour before any effects are felt.

Success Table

Critical (01)Berserk rage. *
02 – 10Attack fury, +10 to primary weapon attack %, -5 to primary weapon/shield parry %. Effect lasts for 1 hour.
11 – 18Thick skin, +3 to AP in all areas, -2 to MR. Effect lasts for 1 hour.
19 – 27Feel great but still drunk, +5 to global HP, -5% to dodge. HP bonus stays, Effect to dodge wears off in 2 hours.
28 – 40Alert, +10 to current fatigue. Will sleep for 5 hours once effects wear off (1d4 hours).
41 – 55Projectile vomit, enemies within melee range must dodge or take 1d4 damage from acid vomit. Unable to use weapons while vomiting. Will vomit 1d6 times.
56 – 70Clever tongue, able to throw the best insults and demoralise opponents. (Use current fast talk +35%) Demoralised foes will only attack once every second round – effects not cumulative. A fumbled roll will demoralise the imbibers comrades. Brews effects last 1 hour.
71 – 85Animal instincts, weapon attacks are forgotten. Attack with fists, feet, head and claws and teeth. All natural attacks at +20%. No shield or weapon parry. Effects last 1 hour.
86 – 90Fast man, brew lends super speed. Moves at twice normal MR and attacks at twice normal attack %. Damage is halved. (Divide damage by 2). Effects last ½ hour.
91 – 95Blind rage, lash out blindly at friend or foe. Double his primary weapon attack and double normal damage.
96 – 99Strong man, become super strong. All damage is doubled, but actions slowed. Attack, move and parry at ½ normal rate.
00Uncontrollable drunkenness, this confused state will have the imbiber stumbling around in battle. All rolls to be made at ¼ normal %. A hit, which draws blood, will shake the imbiber from his stupor. Re roll on table if this happens. 04 – 02 Sleepy, must resist CON vs. Brews POT every turn or fall into a deep sleep for 1d6 hours.

Failure Table

Fumble (00)Instant death.
99 – 80Too sick to fight, all rolls at ½ normal %.
79 – 70Really sick, vomit over self. Take 1d4 points damage per area vomited on (missile hit location table), vomit 1d6 times.
69 – 60Dodgy aphrodisiac, really attracted to nearest orc (or human if drinker is orc).
59 – 45Poisoned, lose 1d8 global hit points.
44-35Feet will not respond to commands, imbiber can only move by shuffling around on knees and must fight from that position (use standard rules for fighting from the ground).
34 – 25Unbearably weak, loose 1d12 fatigue points and STR halved. Check STR limits to weapon use. Effect wears off in 1 hour.
24 – 20Vision blurred, cannot see to attack or parry properly. All attack/parry rolls at – 10 and 50% chance of attacking comrades.
19 – 1519 – 15 Clumsy, continually drop items of equipment/trip over own feet.
14 – 10Battle master, imbiber thinks he/she is the greatest warrior ever. Will insult comrades and try to direct the battle. Good chance of being stuck in the back by an offended comrade.
09 – 05Endo parasite, something was living in the mug you just quaffed. This parasite will slowly whittle away at its victims health, eating him from inside. Loose 2 global HP immediately and 1 per day thereafter. Also loose 1 point of CON per week or part thereof until victim dies or parasite removed.
04 – 02Sleepy, must resist CON vs. Brews POT every turn or fall into a deep sleep for 1d6 hours.
01Battle lust, all attacks at +20 no parry allowed. Drinker will be stuck in a battle rage and will attack anything moving, friend or foe until effect wears off (1 hour) or he is subdued and calmed down by his comrades (Rolled in snow, water thrown over him etc).

GMs Note: Please modify this table as it suits you. It is designed specifically for orc and human drinkers, so feel free to make changes for other species.

Guarantee: Bazzats Battle Brew is guaranteed to make the imbiber drunk and result in a raging hangover.

Caution: Beware of imitations, such and Danukz Deadly Dram and Gurdoks Grotesque Grog. Be specifically weary of Nimgos Nefarious Nectar – even cave trolls have thought twice before guzzling this baleful booze. Quaffers of Bazzats beer should also be aware of the healing properties of Brodoc Brothers Bottled Black Bull ™.

This article was originally published on XII August XXII

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